Why you must live so that you need no one

Your first reaction to this title might be, what? How can this be healthy? Isn’t interdependence within a family healthy and normal? 

Ofcourse it is, and I’m not telling you to become a hermit or you will be in despair the rest of your life. 

What I am telling you, is that there may actually be a new life where people WANT to help you. A life where people go out of there way to help you.

What it comes down to is the balance we all have to find between our own personal energy investment and the investment we put torwards others. When we donate to a charity or volunteer our time we do this out of the kindness of our hearts NOT because we have to. 

This same concept applies for intimate relationships, friendships, basically any human interaction. When we see that someone is in trouble our instinctual response is to help and assist. However, what works against many of us is expectation and neediness.

We all know that one needy friend who is always bumming a five and never paying you back. The one guy always asking for a ride and never throwing for gas money. Don’t be this guy. 

When someone expects you to help them, it creates tension because the option for them to say no is slowly being taken away from them.

Neediness is the next step in the cycle. This is when an individual not only expects you to help them, but their happiness and/or survival depends on you helping them. In children this is natural, but it happens in adults too.

The clingy girlfriend is the perfect example. She has to be around her intimate lover to be fuffiled or at peace. This places a huge tension on the other person taking away their own individual freedom and energy. Throwing off their energetic balance.

All in all, look at your life and see if you are taking too much from people. If you are in a rough place try to find an answer on your own instead of instantly looking to others. Notice how more people will be drawn to help you, because they are the ones making the decision to!